You realize you are in a bad relationship. You realize you could do better. You realize you cannot stay with him for much longer.
But for some reason, you can’t bring yourself to leave him. You love him. You are willing to fight for him. You are willing to sacrifice for him. You are willing to do whatever it takes in order to keep your relationship strong.
Except your relationship isn’t strong. It isn’t healthy. It’s been that way for a while now. You’ve put in as much effort as you possibly could. You’ve fought for as long as humanly possible. You’ve tried everything. You have run out of options. You have to leave. You understand that. You accept that.
However, you keep procrastinating. You tell yourself it’s not the right time to break up with him when he’s in a bad mood and you don’t want to get him angrier. Then you tell yourself it’s not the right time when he’s in a good mood because you don’t want to ruin your nice time.
Other days, you tell yourself it’s not the right time because a holiday is coming up or you need to save up a little more money or you aren’t sure where you are going to stay. You promise yourself you will leave in a week or a month or a year or tomorrow — but it never seems to happen.
You keep finding a reason to stay even though you are past the point of thinking the relationship could work out. Sometimes, you get your hopes up, but deep down you know he is never going to change. You know it’s only a matter of time until you two say goodbye.
Since you have already accepted the relationship is toxic, there’s no reason to wait any longer to leave. The breakup is going to hurt, but you can’t start the healing process until you get out of there. Put yourself first for a change. Do what you need to do. Don’t overthink it. Don’t feel guilty about it.
You are allowed to leave, even though you love him. You are allowed to leave, even though you’re worried about him. You are allowed leave, even though you feel like he would stay with you forever if you did the same.
Love is not a reason to stay. History is not a reason to stay. Fear of leaving your comfort zone is not a reason to stay.
It’s going to be hard to be alone after such a long time with him, but you will both be okay. The single life is better than a bad relationship. The single life is going to be good for you.
When you know you deserve better but can’t seem to leave, you need to push yourself. Stop procrastinating. Raise your standards. Say enough is enough. Get out of there. Call friends to help you. Call family. Call a shelter. You have options. You don’t have to stay with him. You don’t have to prolong a relationship that should have ended a long time ago.