Texting you always disappoints me because we’ll go back and forth for a while, making each other laugh, complimenting each other, flirting with each other. Then, out of nowhere, you’ll stop answering. It always makes me wonder whether I said the wrong thing, whether I’m being overly impatient, whether there’s something I’m missing. It makes me second guess every text that I’ve sent you so far. Meanwhile, the dropped conversations doesn’t seem to bother you at all.
Sometimes, I feel like you’re interested in me too because I’m not the only one initiating conversations — but you’re always the one ending them.
Even on the days when you don’t end the conversation, you might as well. You’ll send a one-word response to a paragraph of mine. You’ll only answer a small chunk of what I’ve said instead of responding to the whole thing. You’ll send an emoji or a LOL. You’ll stop the conversation in its tracks.
I try my hardest to keep you entertained. When I feel like a subject is dying, I’ll come up with something new to say. I’ll ask you a million different questions so we don’t have to stop talking. But you don’t always take the bait. Sometimes, you leave questions unanswered. Sometimes, you leave comments unread.
It bothers me when you stop answering my messages out of nowhere, especially when you were the one who initiated the conversation. It make me wonder whether you texted a dozen girls at once and only responded to the ones who held your interest. It makes me feel invisible, unwanted.
The thing that annoys me the most is that I never end our conversations the way you do. When I need to stop answering because I’m getting to bed or starting a long shift at work where I won’t be able to check my phone, I always make sure you know. I tell you what’s happening. I never leave you in the dark, leave you questioning where I’ve gone, leave you wondering whether I dropped the conversation out of boredom.
I wish you would do the same thing for me. I wish you would give me a clearer idea of where you stand, but there’s never any type of explanation or apology. There’s never a head’s up about why you went MIA for a full day or a full week. It makes me wonder whether our conversations mean as much to me as they mean to you. It makes me wonder whether you’re only texting me when you’re drunk or turned on or bored out of your mind.
It doesn’t seem like you value our chats as much as me. It doesn’t seem like you give a damn.
I can never tell whether our conversations have come to an abrupt end because you ended up being busy or because you ended up losing interest in me. I can never tell whether you texted me first because you wanted to have a long, flirtatious conversation with me (and only me) or because you had nothing better to do and knew I would answer fast.