We all seek true friendship. This kind of companionship is a step above normal friendship. It involves people around whom you can simply be yourself – people you can trust and who care for you just as much as you care for them.
But figuring out which of your friendships are genuine, long-lasting ones can be challenging. Luckily, there are some very clear signs that separate true blue pals from the rest.
1. They Make You Feel Less Stressed Out
When you go to hang out with a true friend, you’ll feel the stress melt right off of you. Every encounter you have with them will leave you feeling great and even energized.
In fact, spending time with good friends who are good for you can drastically improve your positive thinking and happiness levels, especially after or during negative events or circumstances. Essentially, if you feel the urge to spend time with someone when you need a pick-me-up, that’s a true friendship.
If you’re dreading a meeting with your friend because you always feel drained from them, it may be time to re-evaluate the friendship – especially if you feel bad before, during, and after each hang-out session.
2. They Are Honest With You
Honesty is always the best policy, and this applies to friendships, too. A true friend will make sure that they never deceive you in the following ways:
· False Flattery
A true friend is never going to hype you up falsely. This doesn’t mean they aren’t supportive; it just means you can count on them to never lie to you. They compliment you on real things you’re good at – and they don’t flatter you just to get on your good side.
A friend will not start rumors about you, nor will they listen to gossip that is floating around. If they think something is happening, they’ll tell you; if someone is spreading rumors, they’ll tell that person off and report it to you.
A true friend does not try to make you happy by allowing you to be ignorant or wrong. They can be brutally honest, even if they are tactful, about what’s going on. They always tell you what you need to hear, not only what you want to hear – even if it’s tough, even if it hurts, and even if they know you’ll be angry.
If a true friend has a problem with you, they will tell you to your face. They won’t complain about you to everyone you know so that they can gain high ground. They respect you and they would never tarnish your reputation.
3. They Don’t Get Jealous About Your Other Friendships
Jealousy and envy don’t have any place in any kind of healthy relationship – whether a platonic, friendly one or otherwise. These emotions stem from insecurity and can drag a friendship down.
In a friendship that isn’t a true friendship, your companion will feel oddly possessive over you. They will take it personally when you hang out with other people, and they feel upset when you make other friends. They might even be angry if you take up hobbies that reduce the time you can spend with them.
Of course, the green-eyed monster can be difficult to control. Some people do feel jealous of their friend’s friends, but they don’t allow it to take over them. Instead, they ask themselves why they feel that way and recognize that it is a negative emotion before taking steps to overcome it.
4. They Know You Better Than Everyone Else
A true friend is someone you can confide in, and who will never use the things you tell them against you. They know:
- Deepest secrets
- Silly, unintentional quirks
- Worst flaws
- Most “out-there” dreams
- Personality traits
- Buried history
- Love life
- Embarrassing moments
Essentially, a true friend knows you better than just about anyone else does, and they might even know you better than you know your own self. They know your negative sides, your positive sides, your weird sides, and everything else in between – and you trust them with that knowledge.
This is someone who knows who you really, truly are and values every last bit of you! That’s truly something precious to be treasured.
5. They Are Genuinely Happy When You Succeed
A friend who isn’t true will be bitter when you do well in life. They might have trouble smiling and congratulating you, even if they try their best to act happy through it. A part of them is envious of what you have any wishes they could have it, and that insecurity separates them from a true friend.
On the other hand, someone who can’t wait to celebrate every success you have is a friend you can count on. They’ll scream along with you when you get a job promotion. They’ll demand you take loads of pictures to send them when you go on vacation. They’ll be just as happy as you are about your achievements and positive life changes.
Some people are very good at hiding envy and bitterness. But, as you carry on through life and go through its ups and downs, the people around you will reveal who they really are.
6. They Call You Out Without Judging You
You aren’t perfect, and the average friend will overlook your errors in favor of keeping the peace. In true friendship, however, they aren’t afraid to call you out when you’re being unreasonable. Here’s how they might do so.
· They Tell You When You’re Wrong
A friend isn’t going to point out your wrongs just to play devil’s advocate. But when you do something they don’t agree with or think is morally questionable, they’re going to tell you directly without sugarcoating it. They want you to be held accountable for your mistakes, just like everyone else has to be.
· They Are Gentle, But Firm
A true friend won’t intentionally hurt your feelings or belittle you when you mess up. They will tell you when you’re in the wrong, but always in a constructive and helpful manner – not in a cruel one. This helps you maintain your positive thinking even while they’re correcting you.
· They Don’t Hold Grudges
Once you’ve apologized or made up for a mistake, a true friend will put it behind them and move on. If they need time, they’ll tell you, but they’re not going to hold a grudge against you forever.
· They Don’t Expect Too Much
A true friend doesn’t expect you to be the picture of perfection. You don’t worry about needing to walk on eggshells around them, but you know that if you start trampling on them, they’ll say something. They don’t expect perfection – they only expect the best you can do!
· They Aren’t Judgmental
We all make mistakes, and it doesn’t mean we’re bad people. A true friend knows this, so when you mess up big time, they aren’t going to judge you for it. They’ll be understanding and encourage you to be better.
· They Want You To Improve
At the end of the day, a real, genuine friend wants you to be the best you can be. That’s why they tell you what you need to hear, even if it’s not the most pleasant.
7. They Make An Effort To See You (And You Do The Same)
Life can get very busy, but a true friend wants to work around a hectic schedule to see you. You will both compromise so you can find a time to meet and hang out because you’re both so important to each other.
A friend who isn’t the best you could have will not make much of an effort to meet you halfway. You suggest outings, ask them to meals and movies, or even invite them over for a friendly sleepover, and they always seem to be too busy.
Worse still, these fake friends may only want to be around you when they want something out of you. This type of one-sided friendship isn’t great for anyone involved.
8. You Have Loads Of Memories and Inside Jokes
A true friend is someone who complements you as you complement them. You laugh together, forge amazing memories, and collect hilarious inside jokes as you spend time together.
You know a friendship is for real when you can’t even keep track of all the amazing times you’ve had over all the hours you’ve hung out. Better yet, you can’t wait to continue making these memories with them!
9. They Really, Truly Listen
Lots of people claim to be good listeners. A true friend really is one, especially towards you. Here are all the ways they listen to you if it’s a true friendship.
· They Converse Fairly
Conversations are a two-way street. When you and a friend are chatting, a true one does not cut you off, nor do they constantly turn the topic back to them. They want to hear from you as much as you want to hear from them.
· They Give You Their Full Attention
A true friend puts their phone away while they’re talking to you, and you do the same. If you don’t do this, then you should definitely consider it if you want a positive friendship! Research has found that the mere presence of any device can reduce connection levels between people.
· They Listen To You When You Need Them To
If you have concerns, a true friend listens to them carefully. They validate your feelings and make you feel heard. Plus, they know when you just need to rant, so they won’t offer unwanted advice.
10. They Are There In Good Times And In Bad
A friend will be with you through the positive and negative moments in life. Whether you’re excited about your engagement or sobbing over losing a job, they’re right there by your side through it all.
If it’s true friendship, they will also stick around through ups and downs. The challenges you face will make you stronger friends with closer bonds at the end of the day. A fake friend will leave at the first sign of adversity. A real one values your friendship too much to give up.
11. They Love You Just As You Are
Throughout your life, some people will try to change you to be who they want you to be. A true friend is not one of them. They love you for who you are, including for your flaws and silly antics. To them, the person you are is incredible, valuable, and wonderful, and they couldn’t imagine anyone else they would rather be friends with!
Final Thoughts On Some Things A True Friendship Does Differently
Do you have a friend who checks all these boxes? Good news! They’re a true friend! Cherish them and value them, and don’t forget to do all these same things for them, too!
Finding true friends can be difficult. But if you know what to look for, you’ll be able to separate fleeting friendships from ones that will last a lifetime.